Self Eval #2 – World

The world is a beautiful place. It is a good place to be in. I humbly accept everything that this world teaches me. It is generally filled with good people with an odd one thrown in.

I find it amusing and perplexing, the way it functions with all these societal and political rules and regulations. There is ample of room for improvement but with the myriad of people constituting it along with their minds, ideas, egos and self-interests, there is only a certain level of perfection that can truly be achieved. I am fine with that as well. That’s because not everyone and everything can be perfect but we can all surely strive to be and raise the level of perfection and the collective level of earth consciousness. This can be done by uplifting ourselves spiritually, by grounding our self, by treating others just the way we would treat ourselves in every situation – fairly and truthfully. By understanding that there is a solution to every problem if we decide to look inside ourselves because all that we think about others, is in essence, what constitutes us. If you feel like ridiculing others, it is basically your insecurity and tendency to run away from situations by using words that can truly hurt someone else. All that you do and think, is what is precisely ingrained in you at a subconscious level and all of these can truly be understood and captured by meditating. By sitting in silence, remembering your God, your masters, your angels and ancestors, and asking them to guide you and by letting them know that all what you’ll receive will be gratefully and gracefully accepted. All that you have got to do is ask the questions. You’ll realize that the question is correct when you will receive an answer. All our follies can be corrected if we accept the lessons from every problem, maybe in this lifetime or the next one. What’s important is for our soul to evolve and advance in its learnings. Nothing else matters.

I love seeing people grow by learning from their mistakes and eventually evolve to becoming someone else altogether; all the while embedding their original traits in their characters. I like the way they have the ability to show something else while hiding what they truly feel. It’s a great talent that humans have perfected i.e. to create a facade for social acceptance and the funniest part is that everyone accepts it as a part of their day to day lives. It’s so natural to them that they sometimes don’t even know when they have lied to someone. I understand that they do this because it’s a win-win situation for everyone. Common understanding and remaining ignorant is way more important than the greater good.

Why do we need to understand someone else’s perception or thinking? Should we truly care about what others think? There are always 2 sides to coin and so here we go about this one and therefore, do remember that people can be forgiven to think the way they want to. If I care about what others would think, am I not allowing their energy to affect me? Am I not giving them a part of me? And yet the other argument is what if I am wrong and the other person is right. First off, right and wrong are mere perceptions. What they truly are, are lessons in disguises created by human emotions. What I believe in is, until I’m not  hurting someone or Mother Earth, I’m free to do whatever I want with myself and learn from my mistakes. Learning from mistakes should be second nature for everyone. My lessons are mine to learn and I thank God, my master, my angels and ancestors to have given them to me in this lifetime in order to further my soul’s advancement. I believe that the powers that exist beyond my understanding are only working towards my betterment and they always aim to uplift me spiritually.

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Why do you conceal?

Why Do You Conceal?

Le God – “Yo dude… Wazzzup!”

Le Me (tearing my eyes away) – “All’s fine.”

“That doesn’t sound so good.”

“No, I’m actually.. fine.”

“Are you just trying to vaguely convince yourself that you’re fine or you really are?”

“You’re my consciousness. You tell me, am I fine?”

“Woah woah woah… I know that buddy but I want to hear it from you. Are you really fine?”

“Of Course, I’m not!”

“Then why do you conceal?”

“You know it’s funny that you ask that. I conceal and yet I know that you know all my issues and I can actually have a word or two with you to sort out my issues.”

“Sticking to the question – why do you conceal?”

“You know concealing the truth is considered a form of lying itself.”

“WHY DO YOU CONCEAL?”

“Because I’m scared that what comes out from my mouth may hurt someone. I’m scared my image may be tarnished. What if it doesn’t come out right?”

“Is that your problem if what you say hurts someone else?”

“But I hate to see people and things in pain. I hate it when people go through dreadful emotions like I’ve done and I understand that if I hide something I may save the other person that much anguish.”

“For how many people will you bother to uphold this responsibility?”

“As many as I can.”

“So you’ll be a two-faced liar to yourself all your life. You’ll be fair to someone and unfair to some. Your behaviour will vary with who’s standing in front of you. Is that how you want the world to perceive you? A HYPOCRITE!”

“No I don’t.”

“You take the responsibility of understanding pain in others, to dry their tears, but who takes the responsibility to dry your tears, to console you when you’re down? People around you are enjoying themselves, look around! They may or may not care for you. But they definitely care for themselves and that’s the truth. They may go about their lives like you don’t even exist for them. There is no consolation for you.”

“So, what do you want me to do? Do I show my weaker side? Do I show them that the person they’re dealing with has deep lingering emotional issues and that he’s the loneliest ever right now, as he writes this piece? Do I stop gaining their trust? Do I stop making them love me?”

Le God (smiling) – “So that’s what it’s all about. You want people to love you.”

Le Me – “What!!! Did I say that? Yes, yes, I said that. I have to give it to you man, you really are a God!”

“Noooo. I’m not your God. I’m merely your consciousness, the one that you’ve created since your birth.”

“So, are you saying that when I started to trust you blindly, you knew that what I wanted was to worship someone else and you waited till I could realize my folly?”

“Do you think so?”

“Yes, I do…. NOW.”

“So, are you saying when I talk to you, I’m only really talking to myself and my awareness?”

“Isn’t that what consciousness means?”

“Yes, it is. Man! I suddenly don’t trust you as much as I did a few minutes back.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t trust myself. There is so much doubt with all that is right or wrong, that to choose what’s best for me is becoming a rather arduous task in itself.”

“Are you doubting me?”

“In a sense, YES!”

“What did you learn today? What have you been learning since Saturday?”

“That all existence came from the flower of life and that all objects have some form of sacred geometry within them.”

“No no. Rollback a bit. Think hard.”

“Ok, that all creation was created by Spirit and that… woah woah woah… Are you telling me that you are my spirit too?”

“Can I be?”

“But Spirits are the start, the blank, the vacuum, the point, around whom nothing ever exists and all else came from it.”

“So am I your start, your point, your vacuum, your blank?”

“I definitely came from you or you came from me… see it’s confusing again!”

“You have to find the answer yourself. Always remember that your dark days are over and your light will shine brighter now, it should enlighten others’ path.”

“If you are my conscious, you definitely come from me. But my spirit, where does that come from?”

“That’s a question you can ask yourself some other day buddy. You’ve done very well for today.”

“Thank You so much.”

to be continued…

Thank You – 23 February 2016

Thank you life – for having me, nurturing me, and letting me enjoy the beautiful path that you’ve set out for me, all the while I realize that it’s not what you set but what I set for myself. All my actions result in fruits for myself. I am the creator of everything that comes to me. It was all created for me and all of it serves the best version of their services to me. And I thank them for it from my heart.
I thank my office, my home, my family for serving me dutifully and bringing abundance to me. I love you all. I love and approve of myself. I am willing to change. I am open to all that elevated me to let me meet my higher self.
Good Night !

Thank You – 21 February 2016

Thank you life for having me, for nurturing me, for taking care of me,for letting me give while receiving abundantly. I realize that you have a plan for me, the signs to which are yet awaited. To my dearest angels and my higher self, I devote this magnificent day to you. Right from the morning to the night, you have been benevolent and you humble me.
Thank you for blessing me and I know that you’ll always take care of me, cherish me, all the while guiding me. Cheers to the day that we’re about to start.
I love and approve of myself. I am one of God’s perfect creations. I am open and willing to all change. I am ready to accept all that will elevate me and let me meet my higher self.
Good night!

Thank You – 20 February 2016

Thank You Life for having me, for nurturing me, giving me a chance to provide while receiving so benevolently. I thank you for the food that I ate, the chefs who created it, the boy who delivered it. I thank Doreen Virtue for the most amazing meditation audio ever. It totally made my day. I feel really light and energized, prepared for many more battles to come.
And I, from the bottom of my heart, am grateful and gratuitous to the angels who are here as my guests to bless me and enjoy with me. I thank my wife for being a part of this awesome day and spending so much quality time with me after ages. I thank my parents for being healthy. I send all my love to every person I know to let them have one of the best days of their lives tomorrow.
I love and approve of myself. I am willing to change. I am open to all that elevates me to my higher self, my God, myself. I am loved and I love everyone unconditionally.
Good night!

Healing Starts from the Inside

There have been times when I have even forgotten to breathe; such a helter-skelter was my life. Not only had I been only living for others, I had never once thought about myself and now my body and soul were crying for attention. I forgot that one of the only things that truly belong to me is my breath and I had willingly chosen to give it away too.

Such was the black hole created inside me that one night it nearly sucked my breath too and I woke up asphyxiated and parched. That’s when I realized it was time to start anew. Not only had I put myself behind the needs of others but even my energy wasn’t mine anymore. I needed a system that catered to only me and kept an ear to all the demands put forth by my body and soul.

I kept my eyes to the sky and ears to the ground to look for and hear any signs of light and sound that may guide me. This happened when people around me were undergoing major changes, primarily with a workshop called Heal Your Life. I had no clue what it was and was told that I may not connect to the power of the workshop. And me, just as I always am, dismissed it like a FAD that most things that come into my life are.

Time passed and I started to feel things; some haunted and some unexplainable. I knew I needed help. Just to let everyone know, I’ve been to a psychoanalyst before and it was an annoying and unfruitful episode.

My mate advised me to consult a friend of hers, Isha, who also is the joint collaborator of Heal Your Life. I willingly did so and she asked me to undergo a session to understand me first. The morning I reached her, the barricades in my mind were as high as the Great Wall of China. I felt like laughing at her, poking some seething sarcasm at her and in those frenzied moments, I now realize I was clearly divided in 2 parts – my logical-self wanted to ask her a lot of questions and kill the moment whereas my other self truly wanted to believe in her. The latter is the one sentence that even my logical self agrees to – that I needed help and it won’t come from the objective people; all help had to be mystic.

With this belief, I lied down on the chair and simply tried responding as best I could to her instructions, creating imagery that seemed purposeful and sounded even more so. It was one of the most fun activities I have ever done. While I remember nearly all of it, there were some parts that revealed themselves that she dreaded more than I did. I thank her with my heart full of gratitude that after her session, I started to feel lighter like a huge burden had shifted from over my shoulders.

We had another casual session thereafter, that involved no therapy but getting my deeds right on the first place. She guided me to some rather rudimentary stuff that I almost never could have mustered on my own. And so, after I started spending some time with myself, understanding this burden free head, dealing with those calamitous emotional breakdowns, fights inside my brain, one day out of the blue, she asked me to enroll for HYL. Till now, I had nothing that told me that I shouldn’t trust her and so I did, again!

image

And what a decision that turned out to be. I can’t go much into the details about those 2-days workshop that HYL is because I don’t remember much from them. But I surely can emphasize on the effects it had on me instantaneously. That entire workshop is a big release of negative energies. While some negative energy turned into positive vibes right away, others were identified and needed to be worked upon by participants themselves; the instructions for which are provided with the material. The workshop in whole is an exercise I would never have thought about doing on my own. It shattered my concept of machismo, ego, and unfriendliness. It made me understand the art of sharing, crying in front of strangers and why it is necessary to connect the dots that adorn a canvas called life. The love that the participants share in that cozy little room, the laughter, the tears, questions-answers, anecdotes, and sharing real life experiences is something that touches all hearts. Time for some reason just wouldn’t slow down enough to let us savor every little moment.

And last but not the least – A GINORMOUS THANK YOU TO ISHA! While I thank my soulmate who is the force that drove me into this path of self-ishness, Isha, you are the angel that has taken great pains to keep me on it. You have believed in me, understood me, and have taken great care of me. Your benevolence towards me is nothing less than astounding and miraculous. You owe me nothing and yet you chose to guide me when all was lost on this heavy and downbeat heart and for this no amount of gratitude will ever be enough to let you know how much it means to me.

 

Signing Off for Tonight,

Yours Truly,

A Child @ Play

Thank You Life – 🔞 November 2015

Thank You Life; for treating me so kindly. I feel you’re a bit angry at me and I’ll say you’re justified in that angst. But in trying very hard to come to you – just you! The only hope I have is for you to love me again and give me a chance to prove it.

Thank You Sun; for having lit my noon so bright. I loved your heat and I felt your arms tightly wrapped around me. It clearly was the best part of my day. I am in awe of your power and I pray that you forever some my path.

Thank You Trees; for having covered my path, to have let me come close to you, touch you and caress you. You’re beautiful and I submit to your beauty.

I love and approve of myself. I am safe. I am willing to change. I am open and receptive to all that elevates me.

Thank You – 16 November 2015

Thank You Life; to have made me go through my day. I am a growing picture of fearless.

Thank You Office; for having let me space to calm down. Office is my second home and I thank each and everyone there to have given me confidence to grow from strength to strength.

Thank You Enigma; for giving us this song –

I’ve heard nothing else all day. It’s a soul touching song. Just the calmness calls for a trance like state – forgetting and living.

I trust my life to give me all that levitates me towards my higher self. I love you!

Thank You Life – 15 November 2015

Thank You Life; to have given me an amazing day of meditation. I finally realized light entering me, playing with me, and touching me. Thank You for an out-of-body experience that I’ll never forget.

Thank You Baby; to have lent me an enchanting evening. Thank You for trusting me again.

I’m sorry dear friend; if I was rude and hurt you in any way. You see I’m a novice and have just started on a journey that already has experiences galore stored for me and I am an infant to even understand your message. Thank You for that tight hug and letting me know that our bond still stays strong.

Thank You Body; for letting me feel healthy again. I am going to treat you well.

I love and approve of myself.
I am safe.
I am willing to change.
I am open and receptive to all that elevates me.

Thank You Life – 14 November 2015

Thank You Life; for helping me through this day. I am grateful to you for I could finally write and initiate a spark that I plan to carry with me. A spark that fills this dark void with hope and births a belief that all inhibition only resides within me; that it’s only a figment of my imagination and that nothing is beyond me. Today I understood and accepted the call of this universe and laid bare my heart and soul. Today I give myself into your request to start flowing with the river again. Today I accept the light that I finally saw on my path. I am grateful to you to have given me a goal to pursue.

Thank You Darkness; to have hinted to me the importance of light. To have hinted to me that may be the light that truly beckons me, is knocking on my doorstep but me, the mortal, in this vague body, isn’t yet capable of hearing the sound of the knock or finding the door that shows me the way. Today I open my heart and soul to all that’ll elevate me. Thank You for the peace you gave me during my journey on that path.

Thank You Light; in whichever form you came, I finally saw you, felt you fill me, slowly shifting, chasing the dark away, paving way for all that is yet to come. I’ll come to you tomorrow again and we’ll have our time together. Let’s rock and roll!

I am thrilled with my experience today and the peace that engulfs me is liberating. I wish for a lot more and I am prepared to work for it.

I am open and receptive to all that will elevate me and lets me meet my higher self.