Self Eval #3 – My Beliefs

Loyalty, Trust and Truth –

All of these are pivotal and form the base of the philosophy of my life. Loyalty is a product of trust which in turn is a product of truth. Why loyalty? Why trust? Why truth? That’s because how much of these 3 things you receive from others is a direct result of your true behavior with other people i.e. if you’re willing to give these things on the first place, will you ever truly get them back at 1:1 proportion.

All but truth take time to build. The more truthful you are, the more it encourages others to be honest to you. It’s all about a progression. First you have to start being truthful to yourself, then others who won’t matter much and then your true love. All the while it needs to be clearly understood that everything and everyone is a passing phase in your life and is there to give you lessons to learn and understand and make you reach closer to all that there truly is and will be – the elements of the Earth, the senses in your body (dormant and active both), your soul and it’s purpose in this life.

So coming back to truth, it starts with your conscious decision to never deride yourself, never letting your inner voice drown out your passion, never fearing and loathing your actions/words. Always realize that actions and words when done and said respectively, can’t be taken back and they are already a past. All that you can do is learn from them. Remember that it may sometimes take a lot of mistakes, both similar and distinct, to get an action/word right and that’s fine as long as you are putting an effort into learning from them. Never stop believing in yourself. As long as you are true to yourself, the lessons will well and truly come your way. All that we have to do is accept them gracefully and gratefully with a smile. And when you do these simple things and practice them daily, that is when you raise your vibrations and frequency. That is when you attract better people; discuss better things, and consequently raise the vibrations of others in the process. This is when you attract soul mates and people who are willing to trust you.

That is where trust comes in. People start to trust you when you are confident (which means being truthful to yourself) about your abilities; when the distance between your commitment and strengths is infinitesimally small; when your actions truly match your words. When people trust you, they find you approachable, connectable, and worth their time. This is when you show them your trust in them, make them your accomplice, partners. Only such frequencies and vibrations will attract and send signals to your soul mate.

To win loyalty from someone, development of a persistent and often foolhardy trust is needed and hence, a nature full of truth is required. Loyalty is a state of mind that is attained by prolonged trust and devotion to each other’s truth; by demolition and dissolution of barriers between the two minds.

I seek loyalty and I know I deserve it. And for it to come to me, I’m willing to submit to my master fully trusting his voice and commands. I seek a state of true trustworthiness from my friends and partner, something that dispels any thoughts about betrayal and disobedience. I seek a state where the true freedom is attained by true following and blind love – whether be it towards my master, my God, or my love, all of whom I’m yet to meet.

 

Self Eval #2 – World

The world is a beautiful place. It is a good place to be in. I humbly accept everything that this world teaches me. It is generally filled with good people with an odd one thrown in.

I find it amusing and perplexing, the way it functions with all these societal and political rules and regulations. There is ample of room for improvement but with the myriad of people constituting it along with their minds, ideas, egos and self-interests, there is only a certain level of perfection that can truly be achieved. I am fine with that as well. That’s because not everyone and everything can be perfect but we can all surely strive to be and raise the level of perfection and the collective level of earth consciousness. This can be done by uplifting ourselves spiritually, by grounding our self, by treating others just the way we would treat ourselves in every situation – fairly and truthfully. By understanding that there is a solution to every problem if we decide to look inside ourselves because all that we think about others, is in essence, what constitutes us. If you feel like ridiculing others, it is basically your insecurity and tendency to run away from situations by using words that can truly hurt someone else. All that you do and think, is what is precisely ingrained in you at a subconscious level and all of these can truly be understood and captured by meditating. By sitting in silence, remembering your God, your masters, your angels and ancestors, and asking them to guide you and by letting them know that all what you’ll receive will be gratefully and gracefully accepted. All that you have got to do is ask the questions. You’ll realize that the question is correct when you will receive an answer. All our follies can be corrected if we accept the lessons from every problem, maybe in this lifetime or the next one. What’s important is for our soul to evolve and advance in its learnings. Nothing else matters.

I love seeing people grow by learning from their mistakes and eventually evolve to becoming someone else altogether; all the while embedding their original traits in their characters. I like the way they have the ability to show something else while hiding what they truly feel. It’s a great talent that humans have perfected i.e. to create a facade for social acceptance and the funniest part is that everyone accepts it as a part of their day to day lives. It’s so natural to them that they sometimes don’t even know when they have lied to someone. I understand that they do this because it’s a win-win situation for everyone. Common understanding and remaining ignorant is way more important than the greater good.

Why do we need to understand someone else’s perception or thinking? Should we truly care about what others think? There are always 2 sides to coin and so here we go about this one and therefore, do remember that people can be forgiven to think the way they want to. If I care about what others would think, am I not allowing their energy to affect me? Am I not giving them a part of me? And yet the other argument is what if I am wrong and the other person is right. First off, right and wrong are mere perceptions. What they truly are, are lessons in disguises created by human emotions. What I believe in is, until I’m not  hurting someone or Mother Earth, I’m free to do whatever I want with myself and learn from my mistakes. Learning from mistakes should be second nature for everyone. My lessons are mine to learn and I thank God, my master, my angels and ancestors to have given them to me in this lifetime in order to further my soul’s advancement. I believe that the powers that exist beyond my understanding are only working towards my betterment and they always aim to uplift me spiritually.

Refresh

Refresh

Le Buddy – “Do you think that you’ve been studying all wrong all your life?”

Le Me – “I’m really starting to think of it.”

“What is it that you think you need to change? Where should you start?”

“I think I need to begin with learning to ask the right questions at the right time. Never hesitate. I think curiosity is a must to build fresh perspectives. We’ve gotten very comfortable in our skins. Everything is so set in its routine, especially our knowledge and where it comes from, I think we need to start thinking anew to know our roots, “our” meaning the roots of humans.”

“Why do you want to go so far back?”

“Because I think that only then will we truly start to understand our value, the true value of all that we get from Mother Earth and the universe. We have to get to the beginning when it all started, to learn that all of us are equally sacred and all the negativity that separates us today is our own creation and no one else’s. It’s definitely not what life would have wanted us to be. We need to understand the oneness of our life, understand the union of our body and soul, to truly understand our function. I think we’ve lost our way and only now are we at the beginning when we can change everything around us. Build something new and great, do it for yourself and don’t be afraid to give and share, for it’ll all return to you. At every living moment we must remember and acknowledge that this universe runs on trade and balance will automatically happen. We need to pursue the multiplication of happiness.”

“Well, these are pretty big words.”

“Yes! But the actions required are small. Save water, plant trees, harness renewable energy which truly is abundantly available to us, stop creating plastic, use all our technology only to preserve what we have left. Meditate, cherish the silence of nature and the sound of your soul, try and connect with your higher self, believe in miracles and magic for it is all around us. Be empathic and watch how your children grow into beings and teach them to be good to mankind. I can go on and on but all of this is pretty simple. Let the nature know that you are working for it and not fighting against it and see the difference happening. Spread awareness but don’t infuse fear. Create!”

“All of this will surely refresh our perspective.”

My Voice

Have you ever heard yourself?

Ok! As we ascertained in my last post, and as my consciousness and I deciphered, what I actually thought is my God, isn’t really my God. As we’ve also found that my consciousness knows who actually is my God and that discussion is for later when I have gathered enough about spirits. But first, we’ve got to do something about its name – consciousness, also awareness, are rather long words, so let me just simply call him “Buddy”. I don’t anyways have a lot of friends so having a buddy full time could do me a lot of good. 😉

Le Buddy – “So you finally christened me! How does it feel to finally have a friend?”

Le Me – “You know, it’s terrific! I somehow feel very light right now. The fact that I’ll always have someone to talk to, to resolve my conflicts with, to call upon when in doubt, gives me a lot of hope and a very different sense of freedom. I love it already! Thank You!”

“Well, I’m glad that even having me around is so relieving for you. I haven’t felt you so light in years.”

“True that bro! Anyway today I was reminiscing the days when my mother’s voice was everything for me, when her voice was my command. I used to be so scared that after a while I may have changed my fright into a sense of responsibility that I have even today towards home and my family.”

“So you think it is your fear of her voice that turned you into this responsibility freak?”

“It is possible, isn’t it? But the worse things started to happen to me. I could hear my mother’s voice even when she wasn’t around, it was like an echo but it happened whenever it wanted. You know that echo was always my name, a shriek, like it never wanted me to go away, like it always wanted me close. More often than not, it was my mother’s voice but I’ve heard my wife’s voice too, but never my dad’s or brother’s voice. I guess I’ve heard my name very few times from these two guys.”

“Do you hear her these days? I mean how often has it happened since you left your mother?”

“Far too regularly to be comfortable. It totally freaks me out.”

“Do you dream about her when you sleep? During your days, do you think about her in any form?”

“Dreams? Definitely YES. But not during day time as such. But it’s just not with my mother you see. May be I hear her a lot because I spent a lot of time with her and under her shadow, also the reason why it took me so long to finally grow up and understand things on my own, but I also her my wife. The funny part here is, she never ever calls me by my name in front of me. I’ve so rarely heard my name from her, it’s like I was born for the nicknames that she so abundantly showers upon me.”

“Do you think it is an issue? Why were you recalling this?”

“Because I’m starting to believe that somewhere in my childhood lays buried my true art, my true purpose. And I’m also starting to believe that I was never an ordinary child. Everything I have accomplished till date holds no meaning to me till I find out that it has all been for a purpose, a great purpose, may be only towards me but it has to be great. I’ve seen and felt enough things in my life that keep making me go back towards my childhood and dig out all that has been dumped beneath a rubble. I need to understand that what I am today – is it the result of a sudden cataclysm or was it a slow poison that has taken roots so deep inside me that scratching it away will surely make me bleed. Both of them will make me bleed, but remember that it is not the bleeding that scares me, but the skeletons in the closet that I’m very scared to discover. What will they be?”

“Have you ever tried talking to your brother about all this?”

“I genuinely believe that not a single person in my family is worth talking to. They won’t understand me.”

“Keep thinking and voicing your thoughts to me dude… this one seems really perplexing. May be it’ll solve itself over time. But till then enjoy my company. Let’s start to have some amazing time together. Let’s see to what frequency we can eventually raise you to. Remember, our ultimate goal is to reach our higher self.”

Why do you conceal?

Why Do You Conceal?

Le God – “Yo dude… Wazzzup!”

Le Me (tearing my eyes away) – “All’s fine.”

“That doesn’t sound so good.”

“No, I’m actually.. fine.”

“Are you just trying to vaguely convince yourself that you’re fine or you really are?”

“You’re my consciousness. You tell me, am I fine?”

“Woah woah woah… I know that buddy but I want to hear it from you. Are you really fine?”

“Of Course, I’m not!”

“Then why do you conceal?”

“You know it’s funny that you ask that. I conceal and yet I know that you know all my issues and I can actually have a word or two with you to sort out my issues.”

“Sticking to the question – why do you conceal?”

“You know concealing the truth is considered a form of lying itself.”

“WHY DO YOU CONCEAL?”

“Because I’m scared that what comes out from my mouth may hurt someone. I’m scared my image may be tarnished. What if it doesn’t come out right?”

“Is that your problem if what you say hurts someone else?”

“But I hate to see people and things in pain. I hate it when people go through dreadful emotions like I’ve done and I understand that if I hide something I may save the other person that much anguish.”

“For how many people will you bother to uphold this responsibility?”

“As many as I can.”

“So you’ll be a two-faced liar to yourself all your life. You’ll be fair to someone and unfair to some. Your behaviour will vary with who’s standing in front of you. Is that how you want the world to perceive you? A HYPOCRITE!”

“No I don’t.”

“You take the responsibility of understanding pain in others, to dry their tears, but who takes the responsibility to dry your tears, to console you when you’re down? People around you are enjoying themselves, look around! They may or may not care for you. But they definitely care for themselves and that’s the truth. They may go about their lives like you don’t even exist for them. There is no consolation for you.”

“So, what do you want me to do? Do I show my weaker side? Do I show them that the person they’re dealing with has deep lingering emotional issues and that he’s the loneliest ever right now, as he writes this piece? Do I stop gaining their trust? Do I stop making them love me?”

Le God (smiling) – “So that’s what it’s all about. You want people to love you.”

Le Me – “What!!! Did I say that? Yes, yes, I said that. I have to give it to you man, you really are a God!”

“Noooo. I’m not your God. I’m merely your consciousness, the one that you’ve created since your birth.”

“So, are you saying that when I started to trust you blindly, you knew that what I wanted was to worship someone else and you waited till I could realize my folly?”

“Do you think so?”

“Yes, I do…. NOW.”

“So, are you saying when I talk to you, I’m only really talking to myself and my awareness?”

“Isn’t that what consciousness means?”

“Yes, it is. Man! I suddenly don’t trust you as much as I did a few minutes back.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t trust myself. There is so much doubt with all that is right or wrong, that to choose what’s best for me is becoming a rather arduous task in itself.”

“Are you doubting me?”

“In a sense, YES!”

“What did you learn today? What have you been learning since Saturday?”

“That all existence came from the flower of life and that all objects have some form of sacred geometry within them.”

“No no. Rollback a bit. Think hard.”

“Ok, that all creation was created by Spirit and that… woah woah woah… Are you telling me that you are my spirit too?”

“Can I be?”

“But Spirits are the start, the blank, the vacuum, the point, around whom nothing ever exists and all else came from it.”

“So am I your start, your point, your vacuum, your blank?”

“I definitely came from you or you came from me… see it’s confusing again!”

“You have to find the answer yourself. Always remember that your dark days are over and your light will shine brighter now, it should enlighten others’ path.”

“If you are my conscious, you definitely come from me. But my spirit, where does that come from?”

“That’s a question you can ask yourself some other day buddy. You’ve done very well for today.”

“Thank You so much.”

to be continued…

The Edge

It’s been a very productive weekend or let me just correct myself and say that this is the most productive Sunday of my life. Simply based on the actual knowledge I gained today, I’ve probably laid down the foundation for a lot to enter me, alleviating all fear.

Talking of fear, I realize why I so desperately wanted to shift my knowledge of the world. I thought what if I am the only one who thinks that aliens arriving to Earth is a very possible phenomenon. I know a lot of you will still disagree with me but I’m not writing to challenge any philosophy or belief system. I’m simply more than happy to now know that there are people in this world who think the way I do. People who don’t disagree with the current system but they want to mend it to include more freedom. To let creators create, let the teachers learn for themselves by experimenting and to make the children think beyond what is normally around us.

What we, as in our “Cultivated and Awakened” society, have built around us is a wall so huge, so powerful that our kids fail to see what’s beyond it. We’re teaching them a whole lot more, making their curriculum tougher with more homework, more physical work, but we constantly fail to address their sensitivity. We fail to let them know that we’re there for them. That we’re creating a better world for them. They give in to the system around them so easily, it’s like slicing a knife through butter.

Only to feed your mind, here’s a bit of what I think –

Anyway, I probably now understand why exactly did I once see what I saw during my meditation. I felt the breeze, the sound of water splashing against stones, and when I opened my eyes, I saw a huge wall of single stone, wet from the bottom all the way to the top. It had tiny weed like grass with its flowers protruding through its cracks which almost made the wall look alive. It added so much drama. But then I realized that I’m in a boat, on the edge of the beach, and slowly floating away from the reality that the world has created for me. As I moved away, I found that the wall actually was a plateau, with a huge and dense forest on top of it and it ran deep into the land of the world that I was so happy to be leaving. As I kept moving away, I felt at peace and I turned around and the sun was shining at the horizon, invigorating every sense inside me, filling me with hope that one day I’ll be one with it!