Thank You Life – 29 November 2015

Thank You Life; to have given me enough messages in a day to last for a while. It’ll possibly take me some time to decipher all of them but I am awestruck by the quality of the day I could spend for my own paltry standards. First I had a chat with Pravesh; who, I can now safely say, will be some kind of advisor in my journey. He gave me hints and methods that may not only empower me but possibly lead me to a better existence. Thanks a ton dude for all your help. Then I watched Tamasha; a movie so filled with messages for confused and stuck people like me. I think I’m quite certain that what I’m doing now doesn’t serve my purpose any more. But till I find a better sustainable way to earn, it has to be my means for income.

I thank all the food I ate today. I loved it all. I thank the makers of the food and I send across my love to all of them; and to all who have made my day so much more meaningful.

I’m a wonderful creation and I am more than capable to create them too. I love myself. I love everyone. I’m accepted. I’m safe. I’m willing to change. I’m open and receptive to all that elevates me.

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Thank You Life – 28 November 2015

Thank You Life; for giving me this day to relax. Thank you for letting me complete my note.

Thank You all for letting me connect with myself and giving me signs that I can be a better person and there is a lot of scope to improve.

I am a wonderful product of nature and I’m slowly starting to connect back to it. I am coming out to the world to enthrall them with my words.

I am loved and approved by all. I love all. I am safe. I am willing to change. I am open and receptive to all that elevates me.

Conditioning

Till when will we keep accepting all that the people who lived before us, laid out for us? Take a peek within.

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Jiddu Krishnamurti

“The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder.”
Jim Morrison

“The reflection of the current social paradigm tells us we are largely determined by conditioning and conditions.”
Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

What follows comes from an Indian child.

It’s very important to think about someone’s conditioning before judging their actions or their intent for an action. While I start to take my baby steps into a world unknown, that’s bound by no rules, I would love to sit with people and understand their upbringing. It needs to be an enchanting exercise in which I try and relate to them and connect a lot of dots about myself. And while I even start to think of starting on my path, I wonder what it must have been like to be our parents.

We, in India, have a tendency to refer to a lot of our patronage. “My father was an army officer”, “My Mother bravely carried her pregnancy” – are just some examples we use every day. But how many times have we really tried to go all out and find out the type of bond they shared with their parents and relatives while they were growing up?

Parents are complex beings, especially the ones who raised us in our time. I am 32 years old and you’re good at Math; run your additions and subtractions and calculate the time period I’m talking about. Our grandparents were emerging from and fighting a lot of poverty handed to them by the British Raj and the most valuable of things and lessons they have come from relationships. Our parents looked at our grandparents and saw people who had buried themselves for the well-being of their children. The first part of the conditioning of our parents thus stated, “Learn to sacrifice yourself for the betterment of your little ones. That way you keep your parents and yourself happy and live with the feeling of altruism”. The actual word is Responsibility.

During their time i.e. right after the British Raj ended, culture of a limited family was unheard of, for a father required as many hands as possible to raise crops, cut them and sell them. Educating the children always took a back seat and welfare of their surroundings and environment often fell on deaf ears. Family had to come first for there always were more mouths to feed than the total income in the household. Nothing, no amount of money was ever enough. So, parents always sacrificed themselves, a lot, morally and physically, only to make ends meet.

Although with time, some of the grandparents while fighting poverty and their middle class fate, started to understand the importance that education will eventually play in their children’s lives. And thus came the turn for our parents to get educated, another responsibility for them to excel and shine for our grandparents whom they could see, were vaporizing their blood, day and night, to pay the fees for that very education, hoping that one day their investment will bear fruits of progress and wealth for their children, our parents.

I pity that time even though I’m its product. Not only were our parents the first ones to have had a look at society the way it is shaped now, but probably played a good part in developing the system too; a system of altruism, doing things for others selflessly and yet, show it off to the society. A society that has, since time immemorial, forgotten the very humans that decided to live for it. And to maintain their worth, our parents did all that could muster to live up to the hype created around them by that very society. They did it for us; their children. They never gave a thought to themselves, their life, their pain, their systematic desecration of hope and all creativity. Think of all that art lost and forgotten inside their souls.

In a very cruel way and rather ironically, the more our grandparents live, the longer our parents are stuck in this endless spiral of selflessness that caters to everyone but them. This leaves them dividing time between 2 ends they can never have permanently; their parents and their children. Grandparents who have only a few years to go and children who will one day leave to find their paths of lives. Neither of them is permanent. Our parents were thus never exposed to being artistic except for the ones who actually earn by practicing art. They never did things for themselves. Is the pleasure of living for your children so great, that people are prepared to sacrifice their lives for them? What about the years that will follow? Why do we never ask: have I lived my life to the fullest? Will I always be guided by the path and morals that someone else laid out for me?

I find it divine to be able to live with our parents and see them go through their years and learn from them. But I also often ask myself, why must I chose to live a life that’s derived from the experiences that were derived from the perspective of a different time, different place, and different people. People in our time no longer suffer from lack of opportunities that the earlier generations did. We see things that are brighter, clearer, and full of proven knowledge. We do things faster than they were ever done, our dimensions are different. We don’t suffer from the gloom that the previous had to face. Then why follow their footsteps.

I’ve decided to create my own reality. I have the requisite knowledge and am gaining more as I speak. I don’t want to show off. I want to do things only for myself. And yet my morals don’t place me opposite to altruism. I want to do better for the world but that betterment has to start from within, by phasing out the knowledge and the flimsy cover of security this so called society provides. I want to go out and live my life the way I want to. My path and morals only guide me to the betterment of myself and henceforth, the people around me, people that I care to carry with me. I don’t wish to look far. I want to enjoy the present. I accept all that is right for me and I’m grateful for it.

I refuse to be conditioned again.

 

Thank You Life – 🔞 November 2015

Thank You Life; for treating me so kindly. I feel you’re a bit angry at me and I’ll say you’re justified in that angst. But in trying very hard to come to you – just you! The only hope I have is for you to love me again and give me a chance to prove it.

Thank You Sun; for having lit my noon so bright. I loved your heat and I felt your arms tightly wrapped around me. It clearly was the best part of my day. I am in awe of your power and I pray that you forever some my path.

Thank You Trees; for having covered my path, to have let me come close to you, touch you and caress you. You’re beautiful and I submit to your beauty.

I love and approve of myself. I am safe. I am willing to change. I am open and receptive to all that elevates me.

Thank You – 16 November 2015

Thank You Life; to have made me go through my day. I am a growing picture of fearless.

Thank You Office; for having let me space to calm down. Office is my second home and I thank each and everyone there to have given me confidence to grow from strength to strength.

Thank You Enigma; for giving us this song –

I’ve heard nothing else all day. It’s a soul touching song. Just the calmness calls for a trance like state – forgetting and living.

I trust my life to give me all that levitates me towards my higher self. I love you!

Thank You Life – 15 November 2015

Thank You Life; to have given me an amazing day of meditation. I finally realized light entering me, playing with me, and touching me. Thank You for an out-of-body experience that I’ll never forget.

Thank You Baby; to have lent me an enchanting evening. Thank You for trusting me again.

I’m sorry dear friend; if I was rude and hurt you in any way. You see I’m a novice and have just started on a journey that already has experiences galore stored for me and I am an infant to even understand your message. Thank You for that tight hug and letting me know that our bond still stays strong.

Thank You Body; for letting me feel healthy again. I am going to treat you well.

I love and approve of myself.
I am safe.
I am willing to change.
I am open and receptive to all that elevates me.

Thank You Life – 14 November 2015

Thank You Life; for helping me through this day. I am grateful to you for I could finally write and initiate a spark that I plan to carry with me. A spark that fills this dark void with hope and births a belief that all inhibition only resides within me; that it’s only a figment of my imagination and that nothing is beyond me. Today I understood and accepted the call of this universe and laid bare my heart and soul. Today I give myself into your request to start flowing with the river again. Today I accept the light that I finally saw on my path. I am grateful to you to have given me a goal to pursue.

Thank You Darkness; to have hinted to me the importance of light. To have hinted to me that may be the light that truly beckons me, is knocking on my doorstep but me, the mortal, in this vague body, isn’t yet capable of hearing the sound of the knock or finding the door that shows me the way. Today I open my heart and soul to all that’ll elevate me. Thank You for the peace you gave me during my journey on that path.

Thank You Light; in whichever form you came, I finally saw you, felt you fill me, slowly shifting, chasing the dark away, paving way for all that is yet to come. I’ll come to you tomorrow again and we’ll have our time together. Let’s rock and roll!

I am thrilled with my experience today and the peace that engulfs me is liberating. I wish for a lot more and I am prepared to work for it.

I am open and receptive to all that will elevate me and lets me meet my higher self.

I Forgot to Forgive, Express Gratitude and Seek Forgiveness

32 years and 9 days later, I answer the question that should have hit me when I hit my puberty “What did I forget?”. Thank You Sreejit for bringing it across me, for this is what I’ve lacked – True Forgiveness and Unrelenting Gratitude.

In this mayhem to get ahead in life, earn money, survive, and become the twinkle in someone’s eye, I lost mine. And today, during the most auspicious period in Hindu calendar – Diwali, I lay bare my demons, slay them finally, and move on. I forgot and failed to FORGIVE and I now make up for it.

Today I won’t question the motive of the demons that hurt me – I will only forgive you all. My process has cleared the clutter that has resided deep inside my head and heart, colluding my judgement, and severing my path to reach the higher me. I’ve realized that it’s only me who gave the clutter the space that it clearly never deserved.

I pledge to myself and promise my inner child that you are and will forever be in my thoughts. I now care for you and I’ll never forget you. You and I have lived long enough to understand that this load on our shoulders isn’t ours to carry. I will no longer let my power reside outside my body. I will only serve myself and the world through my higher self.

Forgiveness-Quotes-42

And I now decide to get rid of all my past and I believe that nothing will work better for me than forgiveness and gratitude. I hereby forgive everyone who has ever given me pain, suffering, and humiliation in any form. I forgive everyone who has broken my heart and forsaken me. And above all, I forgive everyone who has ever betrayed my trust. I now look at you in the same light as mine.

gratitudequote3

I thank everyone, especially my parents and teachers to have made me capable enough to ponder upon who I can be and really want to be. Thank You everyone for forgiving me when I made mistakes – conscious or unconscious. Thank You everyone for sticking by me during my duress.Thank You for lending me your shoulders to cry on.

Now I’ve got to run towards my light, my real being, my higher self!

Thank You Life – 13 November 2015

Thank You Life; for having me. Thank You for being so kind and abundant.
Thank You Air; for letting me breathe you. Thank You to let me feel the amazing aromas in my surroundings and to let me feel alive and conscious.
Thank You Water; for quenching my thirst for pain and washing the dust and dirt of anger from my heart. Thank You for keeping me alive.
Thank You Mother Earth; to have supported me for so long and giving me the necessary food and minerals. Thank You for letting me walk over you.
Thank You Fire; for keeping me warm and letting me have cooked food. Thank You for the light you bring in my life.
Thank You Sun; for filling my soul daily with such abundant and empowering light. Thank You for giving me day and night.
Thank You My Body; to have lived through another day of learning and acquiring memories that I’ll forever cherish. Thank You for covering, cushioning, and nourishing my soul. I love you!
Thank You My Inner Child; to have turned into my guiding light and my aim is to forever keep you happy and cheerful.
Thank You Everyone and Everything else; for being a part of my journey of experiences – My Life!